Now, I have absolutely no social life aside from hanging with my neighbors but it's not like I'm going anywhere. I open my back door and ta da! I'm on the deck which is the central point for many of our summer gatherings. It overlooks the vineyards and it's fucking beautiful. Maybe this is all about being in my comfort zone and not wanting to delve out of it. I'm a coward.
A friend of mine posted something on her facebook today that spawned this line of thought. It was an image that had a circle that said "comfort zone" inside it, then another circle away from that which said "Where the magic happens"...
Saturday I went to that party but there weren't a lot of people who I really connected with. The creative people I know from that acting venture, yes, but only a few showed up and the rest were locals that I have nothing in common with. Wine country is about food and wine and not much else happens beyond that. I think I'm bored.
Wine country was a great place to heal after losing my mom and getting the shit kicked out of me for ten years in LA. I don't really know if there's any more that I can do here. I certainly don't want to end up back at some shitty, local job working with a bunch of simpletons. Even if it puts a little more money in my pocket.
There's this guy I know from my venture a few years back. He was hired as an actor although he's really a professional musician. He took the tour before he was hired and told me that he couldn't believe that I don't work as a professional actor. He was the one and only member of my fan club. God bless him.
He emailed me yesterday and told me I had a "special talent". It felt so rewarding but it also made me sad.... sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you thought it would.
Waiting for the price of gold to jump up to at least what it was a week ago so I can go back to Santa Rosa and sell my mom's gold necklace. I need to get this VO demo done. No more pussy footin' around for me. My friend in LA who makes a living doing VO (more newsworthy/announcer stuff) is going to advise me once he hears my demo.
Today when I was walking back from my hill, a couple stopped and asked me where I was going. I told them I lived a couple of miles away and was going home. The guy asked me if I wanted a ride. I thanked him and told him that I didn't. I like walking to the hill and back everyday. It's good exercise and it's peaceful. He sort of nodded and then asked if I was sure. It was weird and there was something off about the guy (didn't really see the woman who was driving) It wasn't wine country hospitality. It was something else. Not quite sure what, though.
I wanted to get all New York on his ass. What the fuck do you mean, "Am I sure??" Get the fuck away from me, you weirdo. Seriously, that was kind of creepy. I just said, "Enjoy your day" and walked away....
I always thought this little town was quaint and beautiful but underneath it all, there was something sort of dark. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's the sort of town you'd see on City Confidential. I wanted to write a story about how a mutilated corpse was found in the vineyards and mystery ensues. Most people I told that to sort of looked at me like I was out of my fucking mind... until I met that acting troupe. They got it.
In fact, that was what this whole acting venture was about: exploring the dark underbelly of this town. It was a mystery theatre/walking wine tour/treasure hunt kind of deal. I got to play the town wino who had psychic insight into just what goes on in this place..
My character evolved. At first, she was more of a bag lady but, in the end, she was more tame. In fact, she does a monologue about the difference between New York winos and wine country winos. The first week I did it in full fledge bag lady form, I was on the sidewalk in front of one of the most high-end hotel/restaurants in this town. The writer of the backstory had connections there and arranged for us to have it there that week.
The mix of reactions I got from people was mindblowing. Some people looked at me like I was the absolute lowest form of life. Some people refused to look at me. Then you had the sympathizers (my favorites).
Some girl started talking to me as she walked to her car... all the while I never broke character. I told her that was my corner and when she got in her car, she screamed out the window, "You rock!" and then invited me to a party that night.
Somebody who worked at the restaurant/hotel, who was not privy to what was going on, came out and said, "You can't drink out here" with this major superior attitude (I had a bagged wine bottle filled with cherry kombucha that I made so it looked like wine). She threatened to call the police. That was the only time I broke character to tell her to go talk to her boss about it and get the fuck out of my face.
Needless to say, I took immense pleasure when she apologized later that night.
I think it was that whole debacle that made the mastermind of the project tame the character. This town just couldn't deal with a real honest-to-god bag lady.
Damn, I had a whole lot of fun playing her, though. That whole experience was a blast. I got paid and it was so great to work with people that I had something in common with. In fact, that was the only time since I moved here that I was social... I went out and did things with these people all the time. When the venture ended, I recoiled back into my comfort zone.
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