Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dark I am yet lovely

Today I woke up with a spring in my step....  perhaps all this walking to the hill has been good for me.  There are a lot of farm animals along the way.. horses, cows and goats.  I often stop to connect with them.  I prefer animals over people....  Then I sit under a tree on the hill and look at the valley while listening to music on my ipod.  It's really quite soothing.  There really is no excuse for me to not walk everyday or do yoga.  I am free to do all that right now.  Who knows how long that will last....

I'm going to meet with a local voiceover coach to talk about making a demo reel for me.  After much pondering over what direction I want to go in, I've decided that I'm not quite ready to let go of my passion for the performing arts.  While there isn't much of a market here in terms of acting, there is a pretty decent voiceover market given all the games that are produced here.  Of course, the demo isn't cheap and the market is competitive but I want to give it a go anyway.  A friend of mine in LA does quite well doing voiceover work. Well enough to travel all over the world.  

I initially contacted this woman after stumbling upon her site and realizing she was local (not in San Francisco).  She responded with her rates and corresponded back and forth by email.  I decided to let it go until I had the funds but she has been really aggressive about speaking with me.  What have I to lose by going down to her studio?  It's not like my schedule is packed with obligations.  I also want to pick her brain regarding the VO market up here.

 I was invited to a "BYOT" (Bring Your Own Talent) party next weekend in celebration of the summer solstice.  There are a lot of creative types that will be here.  I know these people via an acting venture I worked on a couple of years ago---one that I had high hopes for but which failed.  It was nice while it lasted.  I got paid to do what I love.  Unfortunately, it wasn't enough so I still had to maintain my other job.   Not quite sure what I'm going to do at this party... a monologue... not quite sure which one yet.  I've been procrastinating.  I haven't acted in over a year.


I heard from a local winery about helping out with some marketing.  A friend of mine referred me to him.  Odd.  I don't really think of myself as having many friends on a local level but I guess I kinda do...  I know this "friend" from the local holistic center.  She used to let me use her Far Infrared Sauna in exchange for some marketing I did for her. 

Those were the days where I was hardcore meditating and doing yoga everyday.  I would sit in the sauna for 45 minutes and leave feeling refreshed.  My skin was so soft and smooth, my body was tight and my soul was centered. It was wonderful.

Then things changed.  She left the center, I no longer had the flexibility in my work schedule to go to my yoga class and I became obsessed with finding a new job because my job was a black hole of negativity that was swallowing me whole...

I have had strange dreams lately.  One involved me doing pushups.  I was exhausted but I kept doing them. Someone was telling me to stop and I kept saying "no way".  I woke myself up saying it...  And that day my arms hurt as if I had been doing pushups.  The power of the mind... it fascinates me.

Then I dreamt that there was a box of insulin at the bottom of the ocean.  I had heard through the grapevine (pun intended) that it was there and I had learned through introspection that I had diabetes.  The box was like a treasure and I went down there to get it and ran into this guy I know who's diabetic and we were underwater fighting for the insulin.


I dream of my mom a lot. 


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