This is what I had for lunch today:
Not quite the same. It's all about the journey, friends.
A week from today I will be 45. This year has flown by. A friend of mine once told me "life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes". So true.
Just yesterday it seems like I was watching the sunrise on New Years Day, vowing that this was the year good things would happen. While the year isn't over yet, I can't help but feel like I've accomplished nothing-- at least as far as "career" goes. Man, I hate the business world. I suck at it and I don't fit in.
While I was working at the place that shall not be named, I went to a few seminars in Silicon Valley. All the business people were networking and exchanging business cards while I sort of sat by myself and watched everybody else all the while thinking, "I fucking hate this world. I miss acting". But when you get to be my age, living that life is unrealistic. And entertainment is a business, too. Perhaps if I were better at it, my acting "career" would've gotten somewhere.
I was talking to an old friend of mine from NYU today. We studied theatre together and she is the closest friend I made in college. Shortly after graduating, she got her masters from NYU and started to teach. Then she got married, had two kids and moved to New Jersey. I actually wrote a book and while I haven't done anything with it because I'm too insecure, I did give it to my friend to read. She's a good friend and I value her opinion.
She loved it and it inspired her to start auditioning again. The book is all about Hollywood--- how people are there and my own experience trying to make things happen. It's sort of a dark comedy although it's more dark than comedy in some places. My friend got cast in a play a few months ago. I was so happy to hear that. While she isn't pursuing acting as a career, she does want to do it for fun.
Today on the phone, we were sort of reminiscing about college and people. There was this one time we were at Grand Central Station working as extras in the Ricky Lake movie, Mrs. Winterbourne. I finally told my friend that on that particular day I was totally coked out of my mind and that's why I kept running to the bathroom.
Then there was the time that Francis Ford Coppola was holding an open call for a film he was making based on the Jack Kerouac novel, On the Road. I will never forget that day and how me and a few friends of mine from studio stood in the freezing cold for about 10 hours. My feet were numb from standing in melted ice. The line wrapped all the way around the block. I should've known then that the odds were definitely stacked against me, but I was young and idealistic. When we finally got inside, all we got was the opportunity to give our headshots to Francis who was kind enough to give us a cup of tea before sending us back out into the freezing cold. Had I known then, what that was going to be about, I'd have stayed at home.
Coppola never made the film. In fact, someone else did and cast Kristen fucking Stewart. I don't get it. She's a one note actress and the one note she can play isn't very interesting at all.
Coppola is one of the few celebrities that reside here in wine country. He even has his own label of wine. He's also shot a lot of his films up here. I went sailing on the Napa River a few weeks ago which is where he shot Apocalypse Now. Northern California is superior to Southern California. I wish more production companies were up here. I might, at least, be able to get a job doing something that's interesting...
On my birthday, I will more than likely be drinking juice. It's better than abusing my body for yet another birthday. When this fast is over, I will be proud of myself. I will also have a new appreciation for food which is something Americans take for granted.
Whenever I feel down in the dumps, I watch a few videos on youtube that will undoubtedly crack me up.
When I was caring for my mom, I somehow stumbled upon this old video by Billy Squire. I was laughing so hard, my mom knocked on my door to ask me if I was okay. It felt good to laugh like that given the depressing circumstances of my life back then. Now, whenever life challenges me, I go to good ole youtube to lift my spirits.
Back in the 80's, I thought Billy Squire was the hottest man alive. His career was soaring and then all of a sudden he disappeared. Supposedly, this video killed his career. I remember watching it on MTV all those years ago and I didn't really see it as cheesy or overtly gay. Today, however....
I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when they were shooting this baby.
Then there's this one.. I think it's pretty obvious. Kudos to the actors for getting through this at least once with a straight face although the mother looks like she's ready to lose it. Love the way she shoots through the line, "Sure. That's why I douche". Brilliant!
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