Man, I'm pissed. Not only am I pissed, I'm fucking starving!!!
Day 5 of my juice fast. Woke up early again (3:45 am)... didn't really get the sleep I was hoping for. No headache, though! I actually felt good this morning so I went to restorative yoga which is basically meditation in different poses--not at all active like hatha yoga but I didn't want to overdo it. My yoga teacher said my skin is glowing (or something to that effect... my memory cannot recall verbatim because I'm fucking starving!!).
When I finished yoga, my headache was back. Perhaps more toxins were release in my poses. I couldn't wait to get home to juice myself some gazpacho (tomatoes, red pepper, parsley, onion and some other stuff I cannot remember all the ingredients because I'm fucking starving!!).
During my juicing, my Champion started making a loud noise. I turned it off and attempted to disassemble but the blade was stuck (still is). This thing is a little over a year old. I was already grumpy but when this happened, I was in full-fledged murder mode.
I called Champion, dealt with a dick in service who acted like he couldn't give a rat's ass that my juicer broke. He told me to put WD40 behind the blade. I told him I didn't have WD40 and explained that i didn't think that thing was coming off as I was pretty strong and it wasn't budging. Then I asked about returning it. He told me they'd replace it but I'd have to pay for shipping. This thing is at least 30 lbs. I told him it was only about a year old. A year and two months to be exact. They only cover return shipping in the first year. The warranty is only 3.
Last year when I was shopping for a juicer, I read more positive reviews about the Omega VRT350 and I considered buying it but it was a little over $100 more than the Champion. Big mistake. When I got the Champion, I was immediately disappointed. While the body is solid and heavy, the attachments are flimsy. The screen has tiny holes so it doesn't really juice well. But... you can upgrade for a screen with larger holes for only $$$. The Juiceman Jr. I got for $100 ten years ago did the same job. I paid $260 for the Champion. For such a price point, I was expecting a lot more.
Also, it didn't juice leafy greens (spinach, kale, collards, chard, etc.) well at all. In fact, I was constantly having to stop mid-juice to clean out something. Tomatoes, radishes and even apples all got caught in the feeder tube near the blade. It was a pain in the ass and I kind of was starting to hate it these last few days as I was using it so frequently.
I dug up some WD40 from my neighbor (who didn't seem very happy that I called her at work to ask where it was but when I had a job, she'd call me at work for stupid shit too) and did what Champion told me. It's been 4 hours and I've put so much fucking WD40 on it, I owe my neighbor a bottle. That blade is not moving. The shit is broken.
But, I will not stop this fast! Fuck you, Champion juicer you overrated piece of crap. World's Finest Juicer, my ass! I spoke to another lady in customer service. She was a bitch too. Transferred me back to the service department while I was in the middle of a sentence. If you do some research online, there are a lot of people who hate Champion's customer service department. In fact, I recall this was a factor when I was originally shopping but I figured the juicer was so fucking wonderful that it couldn't possibly break in 3 years. WRONG.
So, I've decided to buy another juicer---one that better juices leafy greens. I'm going with the Omega which I should've bought in the first place. I can get it at Bed, Bath and Beyond for $300 with my 20% off coupon but I managed to find one less than a year old on Craig's List for $250. It retails for almost $400. I'm meeting her in a half hour. Can't fucking wait to juice as--did I mention how fucking starving I am?? I've been drinking water and almond milk to get me by but I'm really not feeling so hot.
I'll pay to ship that crappy juicer back to Champion for repair and will sell it on Craig's List once I get it back. Hopefully, I will get a decent amount of money for it given it's young age and in the end, this won't set me back too much.
Not happy that I have to dip into my "emergency fund". Didn't wanna go there but I will not stop this fast, dammit. I've come too far to give up now...
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