My neighbor (the wife) invited me over for "a drink". Their friend had been helping with the firewood and he was going to join them. I told her that I didn't want to be tempted to drink (plus their friend sort of annoyed me). Just as I was about to go back inside, she insisted that I join them on the patio. I could have said "no" but I didn't want to create tension.
She seems somewhat distant as of late. She was all gung-ho with me until I got laid off. My guess is she's distant because I don't have any money to burn and she likes to go out. Also, I'm sure the incident with her sister in law didn't help. So, I figured I would play nice and hang with them.
I ended up having water with lime while listening to them get drunk and talk about food. I felt out of place. I'm sick and tired of being asked by old people why I'm not married. I want to say, "None of your fucking business." I was bored, ended up tuning them out and mentally harping on my job situation and my birthday and the fact that I have nothing planned. The last two birthdays I went wine tasting with my neighbor but she hasn't offered to do anything and I refuse to remind them. Besides, I'm fasting.
I'm also sick of being called a "hippy". I am not a hippy, not that there is anything wrong with being a hippy but I don't like to be stereotyped. I asked her why she sees me as a hippy and she mentioned something about the fact that I wear Birkenstocks. Yes, I wear sandals but the sandals I wear are Doc Martens, not Birkenstocks. What else? She conveniently changed the subject.
Her husband is the opposite of her. He's actually an ex-hippy---a bonafide ex -hippy who grew up in the Bay area in the 60's. He got drafted and fought in Vietnam. He's a lot more open-minded and less judgmental and controlling than she is. I love them both but I often feel like I mesh more with him than her. In fact, she really doesn't know me at all.
I'm not a hippy. I'm me.
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH WOMENS' REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEMS, STOP READING
I started the fast less than a week after my last menstrual cycle ended. Today I was really surprised when my menstrual cycle reared its ugly head. Two weeks early. Clearly this is related to the juice fast. I have cramps so I looked up juice recipes for cramps and I made the most incredible juice. This juice I would drink even if I weren't cramping. I feel a little better but ibuprofen would have been more effective.
The recipe:
2 golden apples
1 fennel bulb
2 stalks of celery
Easy to make. Easy to clean.
Lately, I've been having 3 juices a day but in the beginning I was having 4. Today, I went back to 4 and have decided to do 4 throughout the cycle. Usually, I PMS really bad and get moody/depressed. Wondering how much of the emotional symptoms I experienced this week are related to my sudden cycle. I'm usually starving right before my cycle, too. This must explain my sudden voracious appetite and hunger pains. Everything I've read states that the hunger pains cease after about 5 days and, while my appetite was suppressed on day 5 and 6, these last couple of days, I've been quite hungry.
I've been trying to dig up more information on early cycles during juice fasting and apparently it does happen. The body is yet relieving more toxins. Wow. My body is just a toxin repository. Those years and years of abuse have finally caught up with me. I suppose I could break the fast but then I would never truly be freeing myself. These toxins will continue to live and breed in my body. They will wreak havoc as I get older. In an effort to get these fuckers out of my body, I've decided to do a coffee enema. Yeah, I know it's kind of gross but it is truly the best way to get toxins out as the caffeine stimulates the liver. I ordered all my supplies today. How exciting!
I could never do this fast if I were working. There would be no way to juice throughout the day. My symptoms would interfere with my job. The fast isn't too bad because I'm indoors and I'm pretty much removed from people. I did yoga last week and I will probably do it again this week... and, of course, I've gone to the store. Both times I went to the store were challenging. Food was all around me and I found myself starving when I got home. If I stay inside, I can do this. If I venture out into the world, it will be hard.
The reason I decided to embark on a fast was because I was unemployed. If everything happens for a reason, then perhaps this is that reason. If I had gone from one job to the next, then I would never have the opportunity to experience this juice fast. That is why I feel I must prolong this fast as much as possible--ultimately 30 days but I'm not ready to fully commit just yet.
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