Today I've been up and down and all around (cue Madonna)... I woke up feeling really out of it. I slept like a rock but this morning, when I got up I had gook all over my eyes. That never happens.
My uncle (the nice one) called this morning to give me a pep talk and to tell me not to be discouraged by my family of douchebags. He reminded me that my family died when my mom did and the rest of them including my siblings and the shallow Aunt in Belgium are toxic and negative and don't need my attention. He's right.
After I finally woke up, I felt better. I went to the produce market, stocked up and came home to try out my new dry skin brushing brush. Last week when I was doing my coffee enema research, I read about dry brushing which helps detoxify your body by getting rid of dead cells and giving you the opportunity to sweat it out.
You take a vegetable-based dry brush and brush your skin in a circular motion. You're supposed to move towards your heart. You do your whole body but your face and nipples. I like to think of my face and nipples as having something in common... they're both in the no dry brush zone.
While doing it today, I started to sweat profusely. It could be as a result of the heat or maybe the dry brushing. I did feel incredibly tired afterwards and somewhat strange... kind of lightheaded and almost high.
Then I decided to try the dreaded coffee enema. You're supposed to hold it for 10 to 15 minutes. I tried it yesterday but had no luck so today, I decided to give it another go. It's all about detoxing. I'm not starving myself for kicks and not even to lose weight. I want to purify my body and rid myself of toxins accumulated from years and years of self-medicating and drug abuse. If I'm going to commit to this, I want to do it right hence the dry brushing and coffee enemas.
Let's just say I held it for 12 minutes and it was gross. The after effects were bizarre. I felt super tired and then I felt somewhat light-headed and, again, things seemed kind of weird. Shortly after, I was juicing my dinner and was completely in the moment. I couldn't get out of the moment even if I wanted to. I was completely focused on juicing and sponging the countertop.
I did some research online to find out what some of the after-effects were and stumbled on something that was really freaky. When it comes to sex and sexuality, I try to hold no judgment but when it comes to beastiality and such, I have a hard time doing so.
Today, I found a community of people who are into enemas. One guy even went on about how he likes to give himself an enema, jerk off and then stick a cucumber up his ass. At first, I thought it was a joke but... no... it's for real.
My dinner is gross. I made the mistake of putting string beans in my juice because my neighbor gave me a bag and I didn't want to waste it. It doesn't really mesh with the recipe which is kale, a cucumber (couldn't help but think of the freaky enema erotica man), romaine lettuce, ginger, 2 apples and the string beans. Unfortunately, when that happens, I force myself to drink it down even though it's not palatable. Waste not as my mamma taught me.
My neighbor came knocking on my door late yesterday and asked me if I wanted to play. She had her bathing suit on and wanted to run through the sprinkler. I politely passed on that but I did hang out on the chaise lounge for a while and it was beautiful. Weather here is strange. It was insanely hot all day but in the early evening it was cold to the point that I had to go in and get a sweater.
While I was outside, I had a nice conversation with my neighbor which helped me feel at least a little bit better about my shitty family. My neighbor forgot my birthday but when she realized it's coming up, she wanted to take me out for dinner. I had to remind her. Me. Fasting. She then offered to take me to the movies. I really want to see Prometheus. Idris Elba is the sexiest man alive. Then I thought about the smell of popcorn and I declined.
Fasting is best done as a recluse. Any social interaction makes it impossible to not eat. Also, having a weak moment and eating popcorn or pizza or whatever after fasting this long, could really make me sick. You need to transition slowly into a whole foods diet.
Today I officially made it to stage 4 of the fast which is 16 to 30 days. I've surpassed the halfway point. The next and final phase is breaking the fast.
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