Kill Two Birds with One Stone - What kind of sadistic fuck came up with this? Some serial killer in the making? I can't believe people say this. It's not only offensive to animals but it assumes that people in general are cruel.
There's More Than One Way to Skin a Cat - This must have been coined by the same douchbag who came up with Killing Two Birds with One Stone. Anybody who skins a cat deserves to have the shit kicked out of them, thrown in prison and raped repeatedly by a prison guard named Bubba. Fucker.
Penny for Your Thoughts - I would expect this from my former boss but that's because he's a cheap fuck. My thoughts are worth way more than a fucking penny, bitch. Not only does this phrase assume that there is no value in my thoughts but it's stupid.
Throwing Out the Baby with the Bathwater - I dated someone once who used this idiom and it was enough for me to break up with them. Who in their right mind would think about throwing out a baby? Sure, it means not to throw out something of value with something of no value but couldn't they have come up with something a little less...creepy?
Smooth Move, Ex-lax - Okay, any idiom referencing defecation is just wrong.
Curiosity Killed the Cat - Cat lover here. I have a very curious cat and it hasn't killed her yet so stop jinxing her. Besides if it did, she has nine lives (an idiom I approve).
The Early Bird Gets the Worm - This bird must've dodged one of the stones being thrown at it and decided to take out his aggression on a poor, defenseless worm. Birds eat worms but do we really have to celebrate that fact with an idiom?
Take the Bull by the Horns - Bullfighting is demented. What kind of a barbaric idiot provokes a bull's animal instinct and then plunges a sword through it? One that deserves to get his balls crushed by the bulls' horns.
A Live Dog is Better Than a Dead Lion - First of all, what do a dog and lion have in common aside from the fact that they're mammals? Leo here and I'd just like to know how you intend on killing me? Bring it on, prick!
In Christ - this one is more of a salutation than an idiom but it's worth mentioning as I see it more and more. Arrogant Christians: the world doesn't revolve around your religion so have respect for the Jews, Buddhists and countless other religions that don't subscribe to your ideology.
Best - another salutation. Best what? If you're too lazy to add "regards" or "wishes" or to elaborate more in your closing, you're boring. I prefer "later, bitches!" over "best". Whenever I've dealt with someone who ends an email or letter with "best", the outcome has never been good.
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